Are women having children later in their lives? I think a lot of things factor into this decision: Getting married later in life, career choices that focus on moving up in the ranks at work, higher education and infertility may all play a role in why this has come to be. With almost 10% (6.1 million people) facing infertility, maybe it isn't always the best choice to wait but I am glad I didn't really have a choice.
As I said in my last article, I tried to get pregnant early in my marriage. I was 26 when I got married. When I finally started focusing on finding answers to my infertility, I was already 32 years old which is an age where a woman's fertility potential starts to decline (different references will give slightly different ages). This places women at a 21.4% chance for miscarriage as opposed to a 13.1% at age 25-34 (Environmental Working Group). At age 45, this rate increases to 50%! We are born with over 1 million eggs but by puberty we only have about 300,000 left of which only about 300 will be utilized during ovulation (Women'sHealth.gov). And that is if our bodies are in "normal" functioning order.
As eggs age, they start to develop chromosomal abnormalities causing women to be at a higher risk for miscarriage. This degeneration of egg development cannot be stopped or altered- there are no drugs available to address this issue. As we get older, we are also more susceptible to health risks that may not affect us in our 20's. Of course, there are always rare occurrences where a female in her 20's may have health issues that affect her fertility but I am speaking about the majority of the population and the aging process. I also want to note that there are a number of other factors that can affect infertility but my age always seemed to be a big deal to my doctor's (and everyone else) so I am discussing it!
Now given all of this, I did In-Vitro at age 36 giving birth to my twins at age 37 (I had just turned 37 and they were delivered a week later). In my doctor's office, I was told by one of the nurses that there were 13 women doing In-Vitro at the same time I was and I was the youngest. I was initially surprised by this but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Given that women want more out of life including financial stability, I understand the extended time-line. I am sure most of us assume that we have time to get pregnant and the truth is until we start digging into our fertility, we may not have a clue if we can get pregnant or not.
It's a catch 22 because you would not normally start infertility testing at a young age if there is no medical reason to do so (or you can if you want to go through invasive tests and if you want to spend a lot of money out of pocket). If you choose to wait to finish your career goals and buy a house before having kids you are in the same boat I was although I ignored my infertility for quite a while.
As I look back I am glad I did not make the choice to deal with my infertility right away and I will tell you why. I finished school, traveled, achieved my career goals and had financial stability. Now that I am a stay-at-home mom, I am grateful to be able to watch my kids grow and learn and I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. I have experienced a lot over the years but by being at home I am truly enjoying and noticing my life now more than ever. As always, I love to hear other stories. Please share about your experience as well...
Gina
It is inconceivable to think you cannot conceive until you are diagnosed with infertility. Suddenly, the simplest thing in the world to achieve is unreachable.
“A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” is written by two no-nonsense women who share their raw emotions regarding suicidal thoughts, nosey co-workers and how to find the right doctor. The authors spent three years researching well-known and not so well-known causes of infertility. While their book focuses on personal struggles and triumphs it also focuses on infertility education and prevention. When going through infertility it is important to keep a sense of humor, so do not be surprised if you find yourself laughing with them from time to time as they find satire in the most unsuspecting situations.
~ Gina and Alicia are currently looking for agents and/or publishers. If you are interested in learning more about this book, please contact us.
“A Girlfriend’s Guide Through Infertility” is written by two no-nonsense women who share their raw emotions regarding suicidal thoughts, nosey co-workers and how to find the right doctor. The authors spent three years researching well-known and not so well-known causes of infertility. While their book focuses on personal struggles and triumphs it also focuses on infertility education and prevention. When going through infertility it is important to keep a sense of humor, so do not be surprised if you find yourself laughing with them from time to time as they find satire in the most unsuspecting situations.
~ Gina and Alicia are currently looking for agents and/or publishers. If you are interested in learning more about this book, please contact us.
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