The "Types" Of Women I Encountered During Infertility

When you are dealing with infertility, people can help or harm the process you go through. As I have mentioned in the past, I had not really started dealing with my infertility issues until I started writing about it for my book. I took a closer look at the people around me- family, friends, co-workers and the occasional encounters you have with others (I am mostly talking about females too because men don't usually deal so well with many issues regarding depression and feminine problems). This is what I found...

· The Selfish/Competitive Women: These women actually like the fact that you are infertile because they can “one up” you if they have kids. They make this a constant topic of conversation and like to point out that they have kids (and you don’t) every chance they get.

· The Nosey Women: These women constantly ask “when are you planning on getting pregnant?” adding additional pressure and stress to an already volatile situation.

· Heartless Women: These women do not regard Infertility as much of an issue. They see it as another opportunity for you to be dramatic and gain sympathy. I have friends who have suffered a miscarriage and when they have looked to their closest friends for support, have found none.

· Rude Women: These women question you about everything yet offer no support or quality advice. They just want to know what you are doing about not getting pregnant and expect you to “suck it up,” talk about it and not take everything so personally. These women also get irritated when you don’t give them the information they are looking for or talk about your personal issues with them.

· National Enquire Women: These women like to gossip about other peoples’ problems.

· Know It All Women: These women think they are infertility specialist but yet never experienced a moment of it. They tell you to do acupuncture, meditate, or alleviate your stress by doing yoga or by drinking green tea and singing "Kumbaya.

· "Beautiful Women: These women just know the right thing to say and do at the right times. These women see you and your humanity and feel your dismay. These women are rare!

I don't want to sound negative....when I recognized how people reacted to me when I couldn't get pregnant, this is how it made me feel. I also don't want to brush over the importance of the Beautiful Women. The love and understanding that these women showed me helped me get through some of the toughest times I had to face. The Beautiful Women were there to support me and knew what to say and when- that's what made them so rare.

I just want my infertility sisters to know that it's ok to go through these emotions and realize that other women who have had to deal with infertility may feel the same way. If you haven not had to face the other women on my list, I want your list of friends, family and co-workers so I can know them too! How special they are! I also want to say that everyone has problems so focusing on someone else's issues can help take the pain and stress off of yourself. I always knew that people who might have paid more attention to my infertility did so because it gave them a sense of peace (not in a malicious way), that someone else had pain in their life as well.

I know that despite my infertility and all I went through, I am in a good place. I am happy and grateful and just because I point the finger at how I allowed some people to make me feel, I hold no grudges and still see the glass half full. It's all about what you do with these reactions in the face of adversity. I am surrounded by many beautiful people who celebrate my life with me daily allowing me to recognize the past but live for here and now.

Gina